The So. Cal. Rain

On days like this one, when the clouds flatten out so much so they become droplets I crave all things fatty. Alfredo sauce, corn bread, fresh mozzarella, not together of course. I purposefully resist the temptation to bake something anything really. All day long I want tea or coffee and there is never enough caffeine to jump start my engine. My son insists on 'home made chicken noodle soup and hot chocolate' and my daughter trolls in the kitchen for anything that's not moving, but it must be warmed up. They both beg for a fire in the fireplace. I find myself so disoriented to the time and all my "Let's get going" has gone without me.

The kids celebrate the rain. Fiona goes insane when it down pours and is prone to frenzy running out in the yard screaming the obvious her arms outreached as if God itself is inviting her home, "It's raining, it's raining!". Ian loves it so much he insists on "Going for a walk" in the rain, which means he puts on his hoody and walks down the street to the dead end and then comes back drenched and contented that he is a man of the wet-calm.

Quite a contrast to the endless days of rain when I was a child and not enough sunny days filled with exhilaration and anticipation. The So. Cal. sunny days of post cards and tanning lotion are our every day and yes that was done on purpose. Rain and sunshine. Productivity and sluggishness. Football and Soccer games in extreme heat and coldness and lightning. Such is the passing of time well balanced, whether I want it or not. For it all with my breath I am grateful.

Darn

Sliding glass door was stuck. Was it the Sting Ray? No, it was the Lego Darth Vader!

silly Mama!

Parenthood.....The Great Mystery

I just purchased a book on Amazon that was recommended by a psychologist. I expressed frustration regarding some of my child's shortcomings, I mean, "developmental phases". He wrote me back suggesting knowledge could take the edge off my frustration and included the link to the book. I'm expecting ALL the answers.

Is it wrong to expect an adolescent and child mind to act like an adult? Well of course, but indeed I do expect it every darn day. I have a complete laps in memory of what it was like to be a kid and therefore rarely take their point of view. With so many activities and things to do in an afternoon and evening it's too hard to empathize. I need results! Homework, needs to get done! Dinner, needs to get done! Getting ready for and schlepping to practice, needs to get done! Cleanup, bedtime and overall good homey feelings, needs to get done! There's no time for kids brains in our life. But it's all for them? They want to play sports, they have to do homework, I'm not doing all the dishes!

Parenting! I'd like to publish a book, "Parenting, WTF?" a short story.

Perhaps the secret is embracing the chaos. Everyone who's children have left the nest remind me that I'll miss it all and I'm sure they're right. In the meantime, I guess we'll just continue winging it, perhaps with a little more information.

BTW here's the recommended book: "Why do they act that way? A Survival Guide to the Adolescent Brain for you and your teen" by David Allen Walsh.

Since receiving his helmet last night

Since receiving his Football helmet last evening Ian has:

1. brushed his teeth with his helmet on
2. kissed me with his helmet on
3. wedged a baseball between his mouth guard and his forehead walking around the house with a ball stuck to his the face
4. sauntered in front of the Sparklets Water Delivery man across the street, displaying his helmet by banging his hand against his head at the edge of the yard

I packed her cleats

I did something different today. I got out the ole' suitcase, one that has done some traveling with me. That bag has seen; the shores of Corsica, the city of Dublin, the side walks of Rome, the three major airports of Paris on several occasions, the Tulip fields of the Holland countryside, the Berlin wall 5 days after the first blow of the sledge hammer, Check Point Charley, Brittany & Normandy's 50th anniversary, countless family reunions across the U.S., National Monument's, Radio City Music Hall at Christmas, back stage of Saturday Night Live, numerous National Parks and few of the 7 Natural Wonders of the World. One thing it had never seen until today was my daughter's cleats. I was struck when I laid them in the dark bottom left corner. Foreign, out of place, down right bizarre.

She leaves in the morning, not just a Soccer camp, but a Young Women's Leadership Camp. The Key Note speaker is the women who produced Toy Story 3. Former Key Note Speakers include a Federal Judge of the Court of Appeals, too many Gold Metal Winners to account for, Billie Jean King, Robyn Roberts of Good Morning America and Mia Hamm. My suitcase has never seen this much focus on female leadership in 6 days; especially at this young of an age, this fertile of a ground.

What will it look like through her eyes? Will she recognize the amazing opportunity? Will she know that she is an elite group of young girls coming from around the country and out of the country to study Leadership on the Field and In The Community? Like most things I suspect that it will not appear so profound, but it will gently soak in like a coffee stain hopefully making a permanent positive mark on who she is.

I'm so happy for the opportunities she will be exposed to; the language of personal power, the skills training, the role models, the instruction on how to lead herself, then her team, then her community. CHOOSE TO MATTER! What a wonderful opportunity wrapped in those laces, sitting in the darkness of my ole' suitcase, well traveled.

I put her on a plane

We put her on a plane. She's waited and worked for it for a year. She'd studied, walked dogs, sat cats, scooped poop, fed turtles, sold Poinsettias, chocolate and Tupperware. Like so many before her she left one girl and came home another. "We can't let her go away again! She comes back a different person" her father says, a twinge of pain from the stretch of the cord he unknowingly holds on to.

Now, she knows she can do it. She feels her power. She has yet again, as she had demonstrated since birth, proven herself independent. She insisted on checking herself in. Facing the airline employee at the counter so much easier than her classmates with an assignment of oratory. I could sense her tension just below the surface like thin ice and the rush of the river below. But as so many challenges she has faced she negotiated the route successfully.

Obviously it was time for my chick to take her maiden flight. She flourished and experimented and tired and returned.......anew. How scared I am. How proud I am. How impressed I am. How reassured, I am.

We put her on plane and it was us who were left behind. Like the countless parents that push or grieve or perhaps feel both as our children grow right before our eyes marking the passing of our time in history and hers in the future. How do I feel happy for her, when it explicates the end for me? I will do it as my daughter shows me, negotiating the emotional thin ice with the rushing water just below. Knowing it is the way of the world. The way it should be.

I am so proud of her. My heart bursts with love for her.

Favorite quote of the Day

While the cyclone of my afternoon is in full rotation; Ian walks through the room calmly asking, "Mama where's our Pitch Fork?"

He asks for Jazz

"Put on my favorite jazz station please", the car is the sound station on the run and he's twitching to do some toe tappin'. For him ambient jazz is like air, he almost needs it to breathe. His love of jazz has always amused me. His favorites are Benny Goodman, Louis Armstrong, Count Basie, Duke Ellington, Cab Calloway, John Coltrane and Dean Martin singing "That's Amore". A deep appreciation of jazz fusion makes it's way to our dinner table sometimes and is not always the most relaxing. Special tunes are selected for special events. Unloading the dishwasher is, "Take the A-Train" or "Waitin' for Katie". Folding laundry is "One O'clock Boogie". Putting away groceries is anything by Tito Puente.

He'll turn nine years old soon and when he does, he'll insist on two things; A new Lego set and "Christmas Island" by the Andrews Sisters. He'll do what he always does; he'll get the Ipod doc., a blanket to spread out all his pieces, then he'll put on Christmas Island and he'll play it about 100 times over two hours, while he's "in the zone" assembling the kits made for 12 and up.

My friend, who's my neighbor looks at him as he scrolls through our extensive Jazz list and chooses through them all exhibiting his proficiency with each song and category. I laugh and say "Isn't he funny", she looks at me open mouthed and says, "He's you!" I don't quite no what to feel. Good, he's amazing, but how can that be? I suddenly feel so unworthy. But I guess it's a compliment. He is incredible and he does drive me crazy. She is incredible and she does drive me crazy. They light up my every morning. And every night when we put the dishes away, we dance around the kitchen to Devo, the B-52's, Southern Culture on the Skids and Ella Fitzgerald. I guess the apple doesn't fall to far from the tree and sometimes that's not so bad.;)

This moments contents of my kitchen table

Four home made flash cards for; Fibrous roots, Chloroplasts, Xylem, Epidermis
One sticky note, heart-shaped from my daughters teacher to her with supportive message (private)
One pen, hopefully works
One bottle of honey
My purse that Ian threw up on a few weeks ago, wiped, dried and A-OK!
Place mat of the United States of America; Sloppy Joe's floating in the Atlantic Ocean, ketchup in the Nevada basin, dried rice kernel in the Bahamas, unidentified brown swoosh across Canada and into Alaska. All in all pretty dang good!
Hard plastic paint tray, brand new sponge roller replacement (no roller), paint brush, plastic garden hand spade.
One pad of lined paper
One February behavior sheet with notes written on back; bank balances and a large message written "Call for more checks".
Used table cloth
Laptop computer
"Jam Packed Action Teen Titans" graphic novel for kids from library

Another day in the life of Momto!

Helpful Hints from Momto

Sharp edged Lego pieces you find on the floor of your car can be used to clean under your finger nails while your waiting in car line to pick up your kids.